First date. When you hear these words, do you smile or cringe? First dates can be exciting, for sure, and also uncomfortable. It depends on how well you (and your date) can keep a conversation going. To help you figure out what to talk about ahead of time, it is advisable to go with important first date questions in mind. Knowing certain things about your date right away can help you decide if they are someone with whom you could have a serious relationship. Be careful though, don’t treat the first date like an actual interview, that’s a red flag.
In no particular order, below are important first date questions you should ask.
What is your idea of a perfect day?
This is an indirect way of asking what their hobby is. It helps you understand what the person enjoys doing for fun. It could be spending time with friends, having their alone time, cooking, video gaming, or reading a book. It also gives you an insight into their personality – is he/she an introvert, ambivert, or extrovert.
What are the personality traits are you attracted to?
Speaking of personality, you’ll need to know what they look for in a partner as well as what they avoid. They might be attracted to someone sarcastic, amiable, calm, self-confident, or outgoing. Do not let their response influence your authentic self.
What’s your biggest pet peeve in a partner?
Now that you are aware of the qualities they find attractive in a partner, ask about the pet peeves. They don’t like messiness or laziness and you’re a slob? We may have a problem.
11 Important First Date Questions You Should Ask Photo from Getty Images
What are you most passionate about?
This is an easy icebreaker. Most people light up when talking about their interests. This question gets to the core of a person’s being. It gives you a clue about the person’s values, goals, and motivation in life. If your date responds with “I don’t know” that might be a red flag, especially if you are big on ambitions and goals.
What do your weekends usually look like?
This question should be an early one and a must. Why? because it takes the conversation in a number of directions. You’ll learn about their social life, interests, priorities, friends, even whether they are a morning or night person. How discretionary time is used, says a lot about a person. For example, If they work on their day off, they might be highly career-oriented or a workaholic. An important criterion in deciding if you’re compatible or not.
What is the worst date you’ve ever been on?
Sharing laughter with your date is very important if you want to have a second date. It’s like igniting a spark. An easy way to do that is to share funny experiences such as their worst date ever. Just be prepared to describe your worst date, too. You should only ask this question if you sense things are going well.11 Important First Date Questions You Should Ask Photo by Pixabay from Pexels
Ask about regrets.
Sharing regrets, embarrassing moments, or even shameful experiences, is a way to build intimacy.
What kinds of things do you like to spend your money on?
This question is a less threatening and an indirect way to talk about money, especially for a first date. It may reveal a person’s value system. See how this aligns with what you value. If you both love spending on travel, gadgets or concerts, this might just ignite a spark.
What is your favorite accomplishment?
This question gives your date a chance to share something they’re proud of and to shine. Watch them talk about themselves and their success, career, or education.
What’s a dream you are pursuing?
If ambition, goals, and drive is a big one for you, this question is important. It makes sure that your visions align and gives an insight into what their priorities are in life e.g career achievement, family, world travel, volunteerism. Are their dreams compatible with yours? Very important. Everyone tells you what they’re doing currently in their life but that doesn’t really tell you where their priorities really are. This question gets to the bottom of it.
How do you feel about …..?
Identify a cause, core values, morals, and topics that are important to you, and ask your date what they feel about it. Knowing they don’t have shitty opinions on them is very important. This would save you the stress of having to compromise on certain things that are very important to you (that is if you plan on getting into a serious relationship with the person).
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