You’ve been dreaming of the moment that the love of your life would propose to you since you were a kid. It can be frustrating to wait around for the man you love to propose to you but the rule says “Wait for him to ask” and not “Ask him to ask”. Instead of it being forced, you want it to be as special and romantic as you’ve always dreamt it would be (you know, the type you see in movies). We gotchu! With these tricks, you can get your man to propose to you without asking him to.
But first, you have to consider some factors before using these tips.
Make Sure He Is Ready
It may not matter how long you’ve been together, if your boyfriend doesn’t feel like it is the right time to get married, then it may be a tough one to sell. There might be something that is keeping him from taking the plunge. It could be; that he is financially unstable, his attention is on a big career opportunity, he fears marriage or he isn’t emotionally unavailable. Identify the root cause and talk things through.
Are You In A Healthy Relationship?
A healthy relationship is a relationship that is filled with love, joy, trust, mutual respect, and good communication. Do these words describe your relationship?
His View On Marriage
For you, marriage is the ultimate sign of commitment but for your boyfriend, it isn’t. Some men have negative feelings about marriage and don’t see themselves getting married and starting a family. If your man is on this table, it’s going to be quite tough to get him off it.
Lastly, Does He See A Future With You?
Don’t Be Desperate
Going on and on about getting married is going to make you look desperate and make him run in the opposite direction. It isn’t the most attractive of methods. Don’t repeatedly bring it up because the more you talk about it, the less he is going to hear it. Also, don’t pretend to be something you’re not when trying to get your man to propose all in the name of being a ‘wife material’. If it is something you can’t continue forever, why start? It screams desperation and that’s a big turn-off and is the easiest way to break a close-to-the-altar relationship.
Focus On You
Put the focus back on yourself and let go of the fear of losing him. Don’t allow your life to revolve around him to the extent of not having your personal goals and plans. Make some plans to set the focus on yourself. It’s a great way to imply that you can exist even without him and still be happy. Take time to do the things you enjoy, practice self-care, start making major financial decisions independently (very important), focus on your career. Start building your social life again by spending more time with your friends and not making excuses to not hang out. He would notice you aren’t always available like you use to and he would want your attention. Trust me, this is a big step.
Spend Quality Time With Your Friends
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Mentioned this earlier and it’s worth mentioning again, start spending more time with your friends and stop making excuses to not hang out. It’s important to make your absence felt. When you get into a healthy relationship, it’s easy to get lost in it (and you shouldn’t). Not only should you start focusing on yourself and making independent financial decisions, but you also need to show him that you have other people in your life to spend quality time with. So go out and have a fun time with your friends. Dish the dose of fun one day at a time and also be there for him as much as you can. You’d keep him wanting more and eventually become too sweet not to be given the ring.
Do Domestic Couple Things Together
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Name a more romantic way of showing him you are a great team? I’ll wait. Cook dinner together, do laundry together, redecorate your apartment, divide up the chores. You don’t have to dress up fancy and go out every Friday night, just enjoy each other’s company because that’s what marriage is all about, really. So, start getting used to it now. Also use a lot of “we” statements like, “We should go to the party”. It makes it reassuring to you and your partner that you are moving from being solitary to thinking about yourselves as a couple and starting to make decisions as a unit together. “We” couples are unquestionably a team. Sure, he already knows you are a great team but doing couple things together and using ‘we’ statements, would get the point across even more.
Casually Have Conversations About Marriage
Conversations about marriage are often dreaded. The worst part about this conversation, aside from the anxiety it induces beforehand is often the aftermath. It’s either you’ve got to navigate more serious waters in the relationship, or you are faced with breaking up if you don’t want the same future. This is especially true for couples that started their relationship on a short-term basis with no plans for the future. You know, that date-in-the-moment kind of relationship, take-one-step-at-a-time kind of relationship that eventually went long-term. One of the things you can do is very subtly and casually bring up the subject of marriage to see how comfortable he is talking about it. This way you would also communicate how you feel and what you want out of the relationship. The timing of the conversation is just as important as the structure of it. Don’t bring up the conversation out of the blue. It helps if a friend just got engaged, you’re watching a movie with a wedding scene, or you just received a wedding invitation. This would get the job done and marriage will be on his mind, which is the end goal here.
Spend Time With His Family
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Do you spend time with each other’s family and friends? Does he spend time bonding with your little brother? Do the two of you make an effort to be around each other’s family on special occasions? Spending time with his family would make him see you as part of the family, which is exactly what you’re going for, right? Also, this merging of lives is an important step toward long-term commitment. It is helpful to get a sense of your partner’s parent’s marriage and have a conversation with him wanting a similar or different kind of relationship/marriage.
Hang Out With Happily Married Friends
Sometimes the best thing that you can do is to surround your boyfriend with married friends. Seeing other people in a happy, committed relationship might just get him thinking about popping the question. This is especially important if your man is hesitant to commit because of his own divorced parents. Seeing couples in a strong and healthy marriage (especially if they have kids), could be the boost he needs to propose. So, enjoy the company of your happily married friends, especially on occasions when he can feel the importance of celebrating with a family of his own. Catch up with them over drinks, invite them over for dinner, plan double dates. Attending a wedding together also works.
Compliment Your Man Often
Complimenting him and appreciating the things he does, goes a long way in making your man feel happy and loved. Frequently tell him how much you love him, how amazing you think he is, how good he looks on a regular basis. Some men worry about whether or not they make you happy and support you, which is why they avoid marriage and commitment topics. If you want your guy to feel like he can happily spend the rest of his life with you, never lose an opportunity to compliment him and give him reassurance. Also, reduce the nagging and whining, because that can make him feel insecure about you and the relationship. He would definitely not propose if he feels this way.
Talk About Future Plans
Couples should talk about their future plans even before they start dating. If you are one of those that didn’t, you should consider talking about your future now. When we say future, we are not just talking about marriage. We mean the dreams, goals, and aspirations you have. It shows you have plans of your own. If you want to gauge how interested your man is in marriage, have this conversation with him. You might talk about where you’d like to live, your views on having children, where you see yourself in five years, etc. If his plans for the next few years totally deviate from yours, it’s not a good sign. Having this conversation with him would also give him an insight into what stage in your life you would like to get married.
Talk To Him About Moving
How to Get Him to Propose To You Without Asking (These Tricks Work!)
If you don’t see your relationship headed in the right direction, you need to initiate a big change in your life to shake things up a bit. Casually speak about moving cities to look for better career options. Even if you don’t have any plans on actually moving, just the thought of you packing up and leaving him behind should be more than enough to get him to have THAT conversation with you or better still, pop the question. If this doesn’t move him, then hmmm…
Don’t Wait Forever For A Marriage Proposal
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After all said and done, after considering the factors listed earlier, after waiting around for so long, be ready to have THAT conversation with him. Be ready to ask yourself “what if he never proposes?”. You would have to let him know that despite loving him immensely you are not going to wait around forever. Make him see that side of the coin in the most subtle and polite way. While we don’t recommend pressuring anyone to propose if they are not ready, we also understand that waiting around forever is not acceptable either, especially for those in their thirties or forties. The biological clock ticking is a major concern.