Top Twelve Marriage Proposal Dos and Don’ts

September 27, 2021 Comment

You’ve bought the ring and planned out the perfect proposal. Before you pop the question, there are some marriage proposal dos and don’ts you need to learn to make your big moment run as smoothly as possible. Keep scrolling. Enjoy!

RELATED: How to Get Him to Propose To You Without Asking (These Tricks Work!)

The Dos

Test the Waters

Top Ten Marriage Proposal Dos and Don'ts
Top Twelve Marriage Proposal Dos and Don’ts. Photo by Andy Holmes from Unsplash

Before you plan a proposal, it is important to have a conversation with your partner about marriage. Are you and your partner on the same page of starting a family together? Ideally, you should have had this conversation long ago (for those in a serious relationship) and not a few days before the proposal. Bring this topic up in casual conversations and see her reaction. Yes, it’s a hard but necessary conversation to have. It helps if a friend just got engaged or when you’re watching a movie with a wedding scene. This way, you can predict the response you would get when you pop the question.

Get Creative and Make it Memorable

Top Ten Marriage Proposal Dos and Don'ts
Top Twelve Marriage Proposal Dos and Don’ts. Photo by myafrocaribbeanwedding

A perfect proposal is one that is creative, unique, and memorable. Now, this type of proposal has to come from the heart. Do you achieve this by pulling a proposal script out of a romantic novel or movie? No. What about spending millions on unnecessary stuff? NO. Begin by choosing a good location – a place or spot that is sentimental. It could be where you had your first kiss, first date, a spot you visit regularly, or a state/country you both have on your ‘must-visit list (hello, destination proposal!). After picking a location, incorporate special moments you’ve shared with your partner in the past into the proposal.

Consider if the Proposal Should Be Public or Private

Top Ten Marriage Proposal Dos and Don'ts
Top Twelve Marriage Proposal Dos and Don’ts. Photo by Gift Habeshaw from Unsplash

Take your partner’s personality into consideration when planning a proposal. Not everyone wants to be in the spotlight, while some would love a grand gesture or a surprise surrounded by family and friends. If you are so unsure, you can subtly ask them. Remember that tip about watching a movie with a wedding scene or receiving an invitation from a friend? That’s it. 

Buy an Engagement Ring Your Partner Would Love

Top Ten Marriage Proposal Dos and Don'ts
Top Twelve Marriage Proposal Dos and Don’ts. Photo by Tara Winstead from Pexels

An engagement ring is a piece of jewelry your partner would wear for the rest of their lives, so make sure it’s the right one. You might need assistance with this if you are unsure of what kind of ring your partner likes. Ask your partner’s best friend or family member to help. Find out their ring size, shape and stone choice, etc. Make sure you are purchasing the ring from a trusted and certified vendor. Find the best black vendors for your proposal planning here.

Ask Her Parents for Their Blessing

Top Ten Marriage Proposal Dos and Don'ts
Top Twelve Marriage Proposal Dos and Don’ts. Photo by Getty Images

We know this is a little old-fashioned, but you have to make sure her parents are on board with your proposal plan. There is something respectful about asking for her parents’ blessing. If her parents are not around, at least let someone in her immediate family know of your intentions of marriage. 

Have a Photographer on Standby to Capture the Moment

Top Ten Marriage Proposal Dos and Don'ts
Top Twelve Marriage Proposal Dos and Don’ts. Photo by Moyo studio from Getty Images

Don’t forget to capture the moment. Just like wedding photos, engagement pictures would be cherished for a lifetime. You might not necessarily need to hire a professional photographer, just have someone to act as a standby photographer – could be a family or friend. The goal is to document the occasion. 

The Don’ts

Don’t Share Your Plan with Everyone

Top Ten Marriage Proposal Dos and Don'ts
Top Twelve Marriage Proposal Dos and Don’ts. Photo by Light dream productions

The best part about a proposal is the element of surprise. The more people you share your plans with, the more you risk ruining the surprise which makes it less exciting. Only tell the people who need to know and the vendors you hired to plan the event. Tell them to keep it a secret. 

Don’t Propose Without a Ring

Top Ten Marriage Proposal Dos and Don'ts
Top Twelve Marriage Proposal Dos and Don’ts. Photo by Katelyn MacMillan from Unsplash

An engagement ring isn’t just a ring. It’s a timeless tangible representation of your love and a big part of a marriage proposal. While some women are perfectly fine with the idea of a ringless proposal, others are not. To be on the safe side, it’s better to propose with a ring. Your partner is going to remember the exact moment they saw the ring and would want to show their family and friends when they share the news. Instead of a ringless proposal, opt for a temporary engagement ring. 

Don’t Hide the Engagement Ring in Your Partner’s Food

Top Ten Marriage Proposal Dos and Don'ts
Top Twelve Marriage Proposal Dos and Don’ts. Photo by Jamie Coupaud from Unsplash

Food proposal is a no-no unless of course, that is your partner’s dream proposal (but, uh.. why would you want your ring messed up?) For the sake of your partner’s teeth, hygiene, and other things that could go wrong, please do not hide the engagement ring in your partner’s food or drink. It’s dangerous, messy, and inconvenient. It ruins a perfectly good meal, and worse still she could end up in the emergency room. Instead, plan a romantic dinner with candles, music, good food, and the perfect proposal where the ring is pulled out of your pocket (and not food). 

Don’t Propose on an Expected Holiday

Top Ten Marriage Proposal Dos and Don'ts
Top Twelve Marriage Proposal Dos and Don’ts. Photo by Jake Pierrelee from Unsplash

Zero points for uniqueness, hundred points for being cliche. Well, if the holidays are her favorite time of the year, then go for it. But it’s best to make a holiday a holiday than combining it with your engagement day. Don’t get us wrong, we love Christmas and New Year’s Eve but how about visiting the family? Your planned proposal should not go from what is supposed to be special to be cheesy and predictable.

Don’t Read Proposal Speech from a Script

Top Ten Marriage Proposal Dos and Don'ts
Top Twelve Marriage Proposal Dos and Don’ts. Photo from Raw pixel

The reason being, it would sound unnatural. You can consult google and get ideas, but don’t grab those ideas verbatim for your own speech. Think about what you want to say and jot them down. Include reasons why you love them, special moments from your relationship, and of course, the question of the moment – “will you marry me?” Getting your thoughts on paper will give you some direction when it’s time to pop the question, even if you end up winging half of it anyway. A perfect proposal has to be heartfelt and reading from a script doesn’t cut it. If pen to paper is not your thing, try a voice note.

Don’t Propose Too Soon

Top Ten Marriage Proposal Dos and Don'ts
Top Twelve Marriage Proposal Dos and Don’ts

The timing of the proposal matters as much as the proposal itself. When you are in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, it’s hard not to do impetuous things. It’s best to pop the question when you are out of this phase and after you have had a conversation about marriage with each other. Don’t make decisions because you’re “so in love”. Then again, don’t wait for too long. 

Any other dos and don’t we missed? Tell us in the comments section.

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